Remembering
by CardBoardBox473
Summary: She struggles to remember him, as he threatens to jog her memory with a re-creation of the night they met.  Darkish theme, varying degrees of lemon, MA only
1. Chapter 1

The sunlight slowly peeked through the window, warming her face. She woke up, but kept her eyes closed, enjoying the pleasant sensation it caused. When the light finally reached her closed eyelids, she finally relented and rolled out of bed.

"Well it's about time," said a masculine voice from across the room. "I thought you were going to stay in bed all damn day."

The girl spun around to see who had spoken, who was in her room without her knowledge. The man looked vaguely familiar, but she was having trouble figuring out why, and the confusion showed on her face. She heard him chuckle, then realized that she hadn't spoken yet.

"Care to tell me what the hell you think you're doing in my room?" she asked. It was supposed to sound demanding, but thanks to the morning gravel in her throat it sounded a little mousy.

He looked her square in the eye and took several steps closer to her. As he moved forward, she backed up until the backs of her knees came in contact with the bed. "What's the matter, you don't remember me?" he asked as he continued his forward motion until he was inches from her.

"N…no. I don't." she breathed. She stared into his sharp amber eyes and wracked her brain, trying desperately to connect him to a memory. Moments passed before she found her voice and demanded, "But if you don't leave right now, I'm going to call the cops."

He chuckled again and ran a hand through his untamed hair. "I don't think you will. Besides, we're the only ones in the house." His voiced dropped when he continued, "There's no one to save you."

As she tried to remember why that sounded so familiar, he closed the distance between them, causing her to fall onto her bed when she tried to back away from him again. Before she had a chance to move, he was on top of her, straddling her waist and holding her arms down to the bed.

He leaned down to her ear and whispered, "Now, now, my dear Bella, we'll have none of that. You won't be escaping me anytime soon."

The first thing Bella's mind processed was how cold his hands were, like he had been rummaging around in the freezer for too long. She wriggled, trying to throw him off, and yelled "Get off of me! Get off!"

He pressed his hips down onto hers, causing her to still her struggles. With a slight growl, he replied, "Oh I intend to."

Bella gasped, and her breath caught in her throat. He raised his head from it's spot near her ear and looked her in the eyes. As he held her gaze, she felt her will to struggle disappear. Her fear, however, did not.

He moved her hands above her head and held her wrists with one hand as he repositioned himself to lay flat on top of her, with one hand helping to support his weight. As he ground his hips into hers again, Bella felt the beginning of his arousal and panicked again. He urged her, "Try to remember me. This will be so much more fun if you do."


	2. Chapter 2

**Many thanks to everyone who gave this story a chance. **

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_He moved her hands above her head and held her wrists with one hand as he repositioned himself to lay flat on top of her, with one hand helping to support his weight. As he ground his hips into hers again, Bella felt the beginning of his arousal and panicked again. He urged her, "Try to remember me. This will be so much more fun if you do."_

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Bella lay still and tried to make sense of what was happening to her. She was still confused about why this man looked vaguely familiar, but decided that there were bigger things to worry about at the moment. Top three on that list were how he got into her room, how he knew her name, and why he was so insistent that she remember him.

While her head knew that she needed some answers, she found herself getting lost in this man's eyes. He finally broke their eye contact and pulled back as though to take a better look at her face. She was just as he remembered her, soft subdued features, big expressive brown eyes, and lips that begged for something to do.

She watched as his eyes unfocused a bit, as though getting lost in his own thoughts. Bella decided that this was her chance to speak up.

"How do you know my name?" she asked quietly, not wanted to disturb him too much lest he resume what he started.

His eyes snapped back into focus and bore into hers. His mouth set in a hard line before he spoke. "Don't worry; I'll do my best to jog your memory. Let's see, we'll start as close to the beginning as we can from our current position."

Bella felt his hips move against hers again, and the realization of where he was probably intending to take this hit her full force. It was too much, and she broke down into tears.

His movements stopped as he whispered to himself, "No, this isn't how it's supposed to happen…"

He let go of her wrists and moved back to straddling her hips. When he spoke to her again, his voice was hard. "Don't try to get away. I don't want to restrain you, but I will if I have to."

"Will…will you answer my question?" Bella asked quietly, trying to stifle her sobs. When he didn't respond, she tried another question. "What's your name?"

She watched him get angry, then take a couple of calming breaths before opening his mouth to speak. "My name is irrelevant at this point. You'll figure it out…eventually. I'm not telling you shit."

Bella didn't miss the emphasis that he put on 'telling'. Given the circumstances, she was surprised at the slight tingle of lust that the implication brought her. He took that moment to stand, walk away from the bed, and sit in a nearby chair.

Bella sat up on the bed, took a deep breath, and opened her mouth to speak but decided to close it again instead. He was off of her, so this was a good time to let her brain catch up with the current situation. Bella realized that she must know this man from somewhere, so she took a better look at him. Sandy colored slightly wavy hair, well defined jaw line, lean build, and those sharp predatory eyes.

Those eyes that were staring at hers again; she felt her lust building. Maybe if she stared into them long enough she would find her answers. As she tried to find the bottom of those amber pools she felt herself lean forward, as those getting closer would help. She felt a slight ache in her core, and realized that she must know this man. The longer she stared into his eyes, the more she realized that it didn't matter.

She blinked and he was back on top of her, still holding her gaze. Before she could make sense of what she was thinking, feeling, his right hand gripped her hip and he ground into her once more. Her head fell back at the sensation it caused, and she suddenly couldn't recall why she was getting lost in this moment.

He growled, causing her to look at him again. "Don't do that again. Watch me."

She blinked and tried to push him off of her, but he caught her hands and pushed them back down onto the bed at her sides.

"I told you, don't try to get away. I will tie you up." He paused. "Just watch me."

Bella did as she was told, and looked him square in the eye. It was meant to be a defiant stare, but she found herself falling in the depths of his eyes. She felt him let go of her hands, but she didn't move them. She was lost.

Holding her gaze, he moved down her body and slowly pulled her pajama bottoms off of her. She felt his cold hands trailing down her legs as he went. When that task was complete, he pushed her tank top up around her neck, not willing to pull it over her head and break their eye contact. His hand grazed down her bare sides and came to rest on her hip again.

He took a breath and got himself under control. "Let me tell you how this is going to go. If you're a good girl, like I know you can be, I'll let you get off."

Bella watched as he moved down her body again, this time stopping with his face hovering just over her thighs.

He paused his movement. "Remember to watch me."

He pressed his nose to her center and inhaled. She saw his eyes darken slightly, but it only added to their intrigue. He pulled her panties down and tossed them to the floor before pressing his tongue into her folds. Bella moaned, but did not break eye contact.

He smirked and said, "Good girl."

The beautiful stranger dipped his head back to her center and took long slow laps until she was writhing beneath him. Then he replaced his mouth with 2 fingers, working them in and out of her at a medium tempo. When he felt her walls start to tighten, he stopped all motion and just waited.

Bella didn't disappoint. She panted, "Why did you stop?"


	3. Chapter 3

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**Welcome back, everyone. Thank you for all of the reviews and adds. Here we go.**

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_Bella didn't disappoint. She panted, "Why did you stop?"_

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Getting frustrated, Bella asked again, "Well, why did you stop?"

"I never said that I would make this easy on you." He replied with a smirk.

Her body was tingling from being brought to the precipice and the sudden halt in sensations. She felt her frustration turn to anger, dropped her head onto the bed, and stared at the ceiling.

Bella felt the anger dissipate, and self-consciousness creep into it's place. Here she was, lying nearly naked on her bed, with some guy between her legs…it wasn't right. She blushed moved to pull her shirt back down into place, but her hands were stopped before she had a chance to cover any part of her. She picked her head back up and looked at the man on her bed. She started to wonder why she had allowed things to go so far, why she hadn't spoken up.

She picked her head up and looked into his eyes to search for the answer, and she felt herself falling into their depths again. He had been kind enough to her, up until the end anyway. Maybe she should return the favor?

Bella shook her head to clear the thought, then looked at the chair he had been sitting in a short time ago. As the wheels started turning in her head, things slowly started to click into place. Every time she looked in those piercing amber eyes, she got lost in them and lost her resolve to do anything but him. Making a mental note not to look into his eyes anymore, she began trying to figure out how that was even possible.

A low growl briefly filled the room as the man removed himself from the bed and went back to the chair. As he sat down into it, Bella shifted her eyes to the wall.

"Didn't I tell you to watch me?" When he did not receive a response, he continued, "Look at me."

Bella sat up, pulled her shirt down into place, and turned her head to look at the man, but instead of making eye contact she focused on his chest.

"I'm up here, Bella." He snapped, clearly getting annoyed at her avoidance.

She allowed her eyesight to move up his chest and onto his face, stopping at his cheek bones.

"Why won't you look at me?"

"I can see you just fine." She replied quietly.

Sighing, he said "Alright, fine." He licked his lips before speaking again. "Ask me a question. Just one."

Bella fought the urge to look him in the eye to see if he was serious. He was giving her a chance to finally get some information and she wasn't going to miss it. Her brain swam with things that she wanted to know: Where did he learn to work her body into such a frenzy? Why did he bring her to the edge and then stop? Why did she always get so lost in his eyes? How did he know her? What the hell was she supposed to remember? What was his name? What did he want with her?

He smirked and he watched her eyes flicker as she tried to decide on a question. He had hoped that she would blurt out the first thing that came to mind, but clearly she was going to try to pick the best one she had.

Bella took a breath and tried to narrow down her list of possible questions. She decided against any related to what just happened on the bed, as they seemed pretty irrelevant to the bigger picture. Anything about the memory that she seemed to be missing would probably go unanswered, and everything else could probably be answered by the memory itself.

"Well?" he asked.

"Uh…" she started. "Um, how did we meet?"

He sat quietly for a moment, contemplating whether or not he was going to answer her. "You know," he said, stalling, "you could answer that yourself if you tried hard enough."

She dropped her head and looked at her lap, thinking that she blew her chance at an answer.

"I'm up here." He said firmly. "I really dislike having to repeat myself."

Bella raised her head and resumed looking at his cheekbones.

"Whether we met long ago or recently is irrelevant." He said slowly.

Her eyes snapped up to his in surprise. This time, instead of getting lost in them, she managed to keep a hold of herself.

With her full attention, he continued, "We happened to be in the same place at the same time." He smiled, starting to get lost in the memory. "You were drunk as hell, and I, well, I wasn't much better." He laughed a bit before sighing.

Several moments passed in silence.

"That's it, that's all you're going to give me?" Bella asked.

"If you want me to give you more, I'm sure I can manage that." He said with a mischievous sparkle in his eye. He stood up and moved to stand in front of her.

Bella's breath caught in her throat again as she felt herself getting lost in his eyes again. She struggled to hold on while he spoke, but that slow ache was returning deep inside of her.

"Like I said, we were both drunk as hell." His eyes unfocused a bit as he continued. "You caught my eye and sashayed your sexy little ass over to where I was perched at the bar. When I tried to introduce myself, you said that you couldn't give a shit less who I was, then you grabbed me. Now, I was raised to treat a lady right, but you made it quite clear that night that you're no lady." With each sentence, his voice had gotten a little deeper.

For a moment, Bella knew that she wanted to ask him something else. Suddenly his eyes snapped back into focus, and a flash in them made her push those thoughts to the background as she grabbed a hold of his shirt with both hands and pulled him to her, causing their mouths to collide.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks again for all of your reviews and adds!**

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_For a moment, Bella knew that she wanted to ask him something else. Suddenly his eyes snapped back into focus, and a flash in them made her push those thoughts to the background as she grabbed a hold of his shirt with both hands and pulled him to her, causing their mouths to collide._

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Bella was lost in the feel of his mouth pressed on hers. She vaguely recognized that his lips were cold and hard, but was too focused on the feeling. She let go of his shirt and moved her hands up to his hair. She felt his mouth move slightly, and took the opportunity to open hers and search out his tongue with her own.

When she found it, she was flooded with a feeling of familiarity and gasped. He pulled back from her slightly and looked into her eyes. She knew he was looking for something, and found herself hoping that he'd find it so that she could have his mouth pressed on hers again. She moved to reconnect their lips, but he pulled back before she made contact.

Hurt and hopefulness, that's what she saw in his eyes. She was pleasantly surprised that she didn't drown in them this time, and realized, again, that she knew this man. He wasn't some stranger that had forced his way into her home. No, he was more than that. Bella let go of his hair and let her hands rest on his shoulders.

_OK brain_, she thought to herself, _let's remember something. Anything. A name? Surely I know his name. Let's start alphabetically. Alex, Brandon, Corey, Danny, Edward, Frank, Hal, Igor, Jordon, Kevin…wait. J. He's a J name, he has to be. It's so familiar…_

She paused for a moment before trying tentatively, "Does it…does your name start with a J?"

His face lit up at her small revelation, and she knew that she was at least on the right track. Wanting to reward herself for this minute victory, she moved her hands back into his hair and pulled his head towards hers again.

He must have had the same idea, because he pushed her back down on the bed and kissed her with fervor. Their tongues battled for dominance as Bella felt his hand run down her hip to her thigh, then back up over her hip and ribcage landing on her neck. She moved to try to sit up enough to pull her shirt off, and he sat up to let her. Before resuming their attack on each other, Bella reached for his shirt.

He seemed to pause, unsure, before allowing her to remove his shirt as well. Before she could get a decent look at him, he laid back on top of her. With his skin touching hers, Bella realized that _all_ of him was cold. It couldn't just be a bad circulation problem, surely the only kind of person with a chest this cold was in a coffin. She wriggled, wanting to get away from this unnaturally cold man on top of her.

Feeling her aversion to his skin and her attempt to get away, he pulled his face away from hers just enough to catch her eyes with his. She fell into those beautiful, sharp, amber eyes and let herself forget why she was so intent on moving just a moment ago. She wanted to remember this man, what he was to her, and what happened the night they met at the bar.

Bella brought her mouth back up to his, but he had other ideas. He dodged her attempt to kiss him, and instead dove to her breasts. He took one hardened peak into his mouth while he rolled the other with his fingers. The temperature of his skin only caused them to harden further and become more sensitive to his ministrations. Just as she arched into him, he switched to offer the same attention to both. When she whimpered, he abandoned her nipples in search of other ways to play her body.

He brought his mouth to her neck, where he licked a slow continuous trail from the base up to her earlobe and behind her ear. When her breath caught, he knew moved to the other side of her head and repeated the trail. When he was almost finished, he felt her push her hips up against his. He let a low growl escape from him before grinding his erection against her.

She gasped at the feeling of his arousal. Bella, overcome with the lust and need that she was feeling, reached her hands to his jeans and started to undo the button. When she fumbled slightly, he took over and removed the last bits of clothing that separated them. She moved her hand between them to take a hold of his member, but he caught her wrist and pulled them both off of the bed. Pushing her to her knees on the hardwood floor, Bella finally got a look at the erection that she had wanted to free just moments before.

She looked up at him and those amber eyes that she had gotten so lost in were gone, replaced by blackness. Bella then realized why she was on the floor while he remained standing.

He laced his fingers into her hair and brought her face closer to his hips. She opened her mouth to speak and he took the opportunity to slip his cock into it. Startled, she tried to pull back, but he held her in place briefly before rocking his hips. He used his hands and hips to guide their pace, but Bella soon found herself wanting to return the favor that this man had bestowed on her earlier. She wrapped one hand around the part of his cock that she couldn't fit into her mouth, and focused on relaxing her throat as she started to bob herself along his length. She felt his grip on her head relax, and realized that she was now in control of the situation. She heard him groan his approval of her rhythm, and then reached her free had to his sack and rolled the skin between the two balls between her thumb and forefinger. When she felt him tighten up, nearing his release, she stopped all of her movements and released him from her mouth, sitting back on her heels.

He growled at her, low, warning, and frustrated. She saw his black eyes go impossibly darker, and knew that she had made a mistake.

Suddenly feeling bold, she defiantly held his gaze and spoke. "So how does it feel to be right on the edge and not be able to get off?"

In a flash, Bella found herself on her back. She looked into his eyes but found nothing. No depth, no recognition, no humanity. She felt her boldness leave and fear slip back in, and his cock in between her legs.


	5. Chapter 5

**After a longer delay than I thought, here's a short chapter.**

_In a flash, Bella found herself on her back. She looked into his eyes but found nothing. No depth, no recognition, no humanity. She felt her boldness leave and fear slip back in, and his cock in between her legs._

In this moment, Bella found herself wishing that she could drown in his eyes once again. At least there was no fear or panic there. But here in reality, with those black eyes staring at her, she couldn't shake the negative feelings welling up inside of her.

While she tried to find her voice, she felt him start to push inside of her. As the cold hardness of him made her want to push away, her heat must have been some kind of shock to his body. His dark eyes seemed to lighten just a bit, and Bella took a chance and put her hand on his cheek. The action didn't seem to bring him back to reality as she had hoped, and she felt his hips push closer to hers.

When he was fully seated inside of her, Bella realized that her body wanted, needed, this. But it wasn't enough. She removed her hand from his face and gripped his hip. His eyes stayed locked on hers as he withdrew from inside of her. Bella tightened her grip on him when she thought he had pulled back too far, and he slid back inside of her. When he began to repeat the motion -out, and in- Bella felt a coil start in the pit of her stomach. But it wasn't enough, she needed more.

"Harder." she breathed.

He paused his motions and asked, "What's my name?"

Bella wracked her brain for an answer. She had a hold on the letter J but hadn't gotten any farther than that. The stillness was counter-productive, and she wanted him to continue what he had started. Thinking she could avoid the name game, she pressed her hips up into his.

He pushed her hips flat on the bed, preventing any movement. "What is my name." It was a statement this time, and she knew that she needed to come up with something.

"I'll remember, I promise. Just give me this." Bella pleaded.

With a short growl, he finally began moving again. He set a slow rhythm and just continually rocked against her. The coil in her stomach wasn't making much progress and Bella was getting ticked.

"Well if that's all you've got, I have better things to do." she said before trying to push him off of her.

She didn't get very far…or anywhere, really. His eyes darkened into lightless blackness again, he growled, and flipped her over so that she was on her hands and knees.

"You have no idea what you've just done, but I hope you're ready for a ride." he growled into her ear.

Gripping her hips, he roughly thrust in and out of her. The sound of skin slapping skin echoed on the bedroom walls, and Bella finally felt the coil tighten up inside of her. As she moaned, he picked up his pace and the force of his thrusts. He pushed down on her shoulders until they were touching the mattress. The new angle that the move created allowed him to push even farther inside of her. The coil in her stomach snapped, and she felt the heat spread through her body. As her walls clenched around him, he grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her back up onto her hands. He grunted and yanked back on her hair, hard enough that she felt some of the strands pull loose, as he came.

While spilling himself inside of her, he repeated his earlier question. "What's my name?" He didn't receive an immediate response, so he pulled her head back farther. "Well?"

With tears in her eyes, she tried the only J name she could think of. "J…J…James?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Welcome back!**

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_With tears in her eyes, she tried the only J name she could think of. "J…J…James?"_

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"James. That's the best you can do?" he growled, "You equate me with that lowlife piece of garbage that…" a pause. "You really don't remember. I thought you were playing games with me again; like you did last time." He shook his head and removed himself from her.

As he slid off of the bed and moved to retrieve his pants, Bella saw him drop his head slightly. The look on his face was pained, tortured even. It was leaps and bounds from the predator that was heaving above her moments before.

Though she couldn't reason why, she found herself needing to ask, "What's wrong?"

For the first time, he wouldn't meet her eyes. She felt like their roles had been reversed by the simple mistake of calling him by, what was apparently, the wrong name.

His answer came softly, and she almost missed it. "If you truly don't remember me, then what I did to you…"

She sat up, wrapping herself in the sheets, and waited a beat for him to continue before pressing him for the rest of the sentence.

He audibly sighed then turned away from her with his head down. "Then what I did makes me no better than him."

Bella found herself wanting to take this man's pain away, but she wasn't sure how. Whatever memories were now plaguing him were either locked in her brain so deeply that she couldn't get to them, or gone altogether. Either way, they did her no good. Apparently this man thought fucking her would trigger her brain to fire properly, but that had failed. It was a good roll in the sack, sure, but it was doing a better job distracting her mind than anything else.

Her brain set to work trying to categorize the sex she just had with any she had had before…but came up blank. Brow furrowed, she tried to come up with any time that she had sex before this. Surely that wasn't the first time. No, nothing broke, so it definitely wasn't the first time. When had she lost her virginity?

Wanting to ask her intruder if he knew, she leveled her eyes with the place that he had been standing so dejectedly. Not finding him there, she visually swept the room, coming up with nothing. She hadn't heard the door open, but reasoned that she must have been so lost in thought that he managed to slip out without her noticing.

Opting against getting out of bed and getting dressed, Bella let herself fall backwards so that she was laying on the bed once again. Staring at the ceiling, she willed herself to remember something. Anything.

Though the man had basically broken into her house and seduced her, Bella found that she missed him.

Going back over the events of that day in her head, she decided to start with trying to recall why her mystery man was so torn apart over her remembering James, whoever that was, instead of remembering him.

"I don't know why I should care," Bella thought to herself, "He broke into the house. He…coerced me into having sex with him." She shook her head. "No. The sex felt too right to be wrong. He knows something that I don't."

With the gears in her head turning, Bella fell asleep.

_Sitting on the couch with a bowl of popcorn watching a movie, she doesn't hear the front door open._

_Footsteps._

_A masked man grabs her by the throat and pulls her off the couch._

_She struggles to get away, but can't find her voice to scream._

_He bends her over the arm of the couch._

_Pain._

Bella woke with a start. Trying to remember the details of the dream, she couldn't come up with much, just flashes here and there. But it was something.

She couldn't shake the idea that it was more than a dream.


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